Heart & Soul of a Single Dad

Being a father is a full-time job.  The day I learned that I was a father my life changed forever and I must say it changed for the better.  My daughter brought the best out of me immediately.  I knew at that moment whatever excuse I had for not chasing my dreams or being my best self-was null and void.  As I held my daughter innately, I knew I had to blaze of a path that would last for generations.  I read Proverbs 13:22 in the King James Version (KJV) which says "22 A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just."  The verse didn't say how it just announced as a father it was my responsibility. There wasn't a manual on how to be a man, a father, or an active co-parent.  I learned some hard lessons immediately.  My daughter's mother and I weren't together when our daughter was born.  So in the eyes of the system and some members of the public, mom has all the rights an...

When I took on the responsibility of raising my daughter full time five years ago, I didn't know anything about raising a child independently.  The learning came fast and hard.  There were changes that I needed to make mentally, socially, career-wise, etc.  I received all sorts of feedback from men (saying we won) to women (either applauding my move or seemingly upset because my daughter resided with me).  The two things on the top of my mind were 1.  The judge asking was I ready and 2. My mother reminding me that men in my family took care of their children.  I was nervous and had to make my next move my best move.  So I prayed and asked God for guidance and grace. I was blessed with a team of women (friends and family) that helped ease my transition.  I was thrust into the position of setting hair appointments, doctor appointments, dentist appointments, school registration, etc.  The support of those women got me through the transitio...

In my previous blog Missing Fathers , I broached a subject that I believe needs more attention on a deeper scale.  The topic of Missing Fathers is poignant with a myriad of angles, that I’m revisiting the discussion in an attempt to do it more justice.  I’d also like to note that my intent is to always approach such subject matter from a solution-oriented mindset. As I watch the news, research related statistics and observe Jacksonville’s culture, I realize missing fathers is a huge problem, and the effects of their absence manifests in the children and communities  I have noticed many community-based initiatives now exist  with one goal: to “save” the children. One glaring flaw, in my opinion, is the fact that most of the efforts fail to appropriately re-insert the father into the family or the life of his children.  Leading me to question whether that these efforts seek to replace fathers or capitalize off of their absences rather than create br...