Manhood: A Complex Journey

The very idea of manhood is complex.  If you ask 10 people how they define manhood you may get 10 different answers.  Yet, if you ask those same men about their journey even though the actual steps may be different there will be common threads.  The commonality is where the opportunity to build lives.

Admittedly so there isn’t a manual provided to a parent once a child is born detailing the steps necessary to raise their new bundle of joy.  With that being said all one can do is be the best parent they can be.  In many cases Dad’s draw on the experience of their family structure which provides some structure.  That's if there was a man in the house otherwise it's solely on the job training without the benefit of a previous model.  There are several adaptations to this model, the father/father figure may have had a rough upbringing, there may not be a male figure in the home at all.  This tremendously hinders development on the journey from boy to many.  You see the purpose of a role model/mentor is to give direction and with so many young men lacking a role model the likelihood or recreating generational mistakes are high.

I’ve noticed a few things over the years and for the purpose of this blog I’d like to cover two of them.  From an individual standpoint, it is frustrating growing up without male guidance.  To make matters worse men tend to hide the need for said support in order to maintain an image.  Think about it, how many times have you saw a man be headed in the wrong direction yet, refuse to ask for directions?  I know there were many questions I had and I improvised or did the best with what I had.

On the institutional side, there are several programs available with the goal of saving young men.  I appreciate and support these programs by volunteering on a regular basis.  Yet, I must say it’s ambitious to believe all young men will be saved through this method.  The would mean achieving a 100% success rate and I believe there are too many variables for to ensure such a high rate.  Which led me to think what happens to the young men that fell through the cracks?  They become adult men potentially harboring the same issues they did as young men.

I think it’s important for men to help men and I’m seeing glimpses of this as conversations are springing up on the topic of what a man is and what it means to the family and community for men to rise to the occasion.  Also, on the institutional side Fatherhood programs are springing up with the intention or preparing men to one of their most important roles, the transition from man to father.